Comedian Sande Bush alias Dr. Ofweneke revisited his failed marriage with musician Nicah the Queen, revealing some of the mistakes that led to the end of their relationship.
Speaking in a candid interview with fellow funnyman Oga Obinna, the TV host admitted that a critical error he made in the relationship was prioritizing his partner’s happiness over his own identity and well-being.
He discussed how people frequently enter relationships with the aim of changing certain qualities that initially drew them to their partners, resulting in disappointment.
“We get into relationships with the idea of changing what attracted us to them in the beginning. ‘This is what I like about you, then I come in and I want to do a whole interior makeover of who you are, so I want to turn you into what I prefer,’ so I end up not being who I am to make you happy,” he explained.
Dr Ofweneke also revealed that he had unfairly placed the responsibility of his own happiness onto Nicah the Queen, creating what he termed ‘power bank relationships.’
According to the comedian, this dynamic involves one person becoming the exclusive provider of happiness for the other, leading to a cycle of emotional reliance and eventual discontent within such relationships.
“The second mistake I made in my marriage is putting the burden of happiness on other human beings. I tell people I’m my own happiness, otherwise, we are stuck in power bank relationships, one person is charging the other, you can’t sell what you’re not feeling,” he said.
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Ofweneke also discussed the idea of personal development and recovery within relationships. He used a metaphor to illustrate how individuals frequently become emotional healers, attempting to mend the emotional gaps in their partners.
According to him, this pattern can result in infidelity and discontent as partners seek fulfillment beyond the relationship.
“Some of us have to ask ourselves, ‘Am I a boyfriend, husband or healer?’ Some of you are not in relationships, you’re in therapy,” he said.
Reflecting on his love life with Nicah, Ofweneke said his love for her led him to overlook the importance of self-love.
“I think it’s because I loved Nicah so much that I forgot myself, but the day I rediscovered myself, is the day I told her ‘Mama, it’s been a good stretch, we were actually watching Netflix.
“Nicah was perfect, and I was perfect but were not perfect for each other, were not on the same path in life,” he said.
Both Ofweneke and Nicah have since moved on to new partners and continue to co-parent their two kids.
