Gospel music producer Ephantus Wahome Safari has told his side of the story about his failed marriage with Papa Shirandula actress Joy Furaha Karambu alias Kawira.
The actress spoke for the first time in June, revealing she left Ephantus on June 16, 2020.
“I said it is a wrap, I quit. When you see you don’t know where the relationship is heading to, you say for the sake of your own peace and that of the other person, you go your separate ways,” Kawira said of their six-year marriage.
“I left during a pandemic coz I was not at peace. While dating there was no red flag. I did not provoke things and that is one way I failed. While dating, try to do something like coming late for a date to see their reaction and how they handle anger,” she added.
Kawira at the same time said she regretted not leaving the marriage earlier.
“I regret that I would have left early so we could move on early. We would have moved to another chapter by now,” she said.
Her advice to anyone in a troubled marriage is to leave if it is not working.
“We called for delegation but still, it did not work. I am yet to find out why my marriage did not work coz I still don’t understand. I don’t understand why I had to go through that yet I was a church girl.”
Also Read – “Till Death Do Us Part is Never That Serious”: Kawira Joy on Failed 6-year Marriage
Now, Ephantus has come out to detail his side of the story in a long post on his Facebook page.
Read his full statement below.
“Happy utamaduni day!
Marriage is sacred and no one gets into it with a second thought. On 22nd November 2014 I said Yes I do to the love of my life in a colorful wedding attended by friends and family. I met my wife in a function, we had given her an opportunity to MC. We courted less than a year and boom, ’The wedding’.
Marriage is an instituition, you work it out. No one is perfect and both parties have a role to play. I did not marry an actress neither did she marry a businessman, and if I did marry an actress,you have the answer why she is running from one media house to another. She married Ephantus, she saw my giftings and that is why she encouraged & introduced me to her bishop friends in Meru for ordination as a pastor in 2017.
My wife had a strong attachment with her mother noting that she was the bread winner and the mother lived in her house. The bible says both shall leave their parents and they shall come together. On getting married she wasnt ready to move out without the mother. From where I grew up, mother in laws do not live with their children in the same house of which there was a period I allowed it but the outcome wasn’t good(story for another day).
The first two years were really difficult for both of us having to counter pressures from family and friends. We tried to conceive with no results. I encouraged my wife we sought the help of a doctor. I walked with her throughout the treatment and finally God came through. She conceived and sadly again, it was a blighted ovum. We had to terminate.
We prayed and trusted God as we were going on with treatment. God rewarded us with triplets., I accompanied my wife in all her clinics and at 32nd week, we were informed one baby had succumbed. It was tragic for us but thank God for doctors who saved my twins.
I kept my family in the very best a man can keep a woman. I provided for my family to a point of supporting extended family as well but one evening from work I found an empty home. I loved Joy with all my heart. I have engraved my kids initials on my arm. I inflicted pain to heal the pain of missing my lovely children. I have requested for co parenting she has declined.
I tried to reach out , sent friends ,called her but my calls went unanswered. The past two years until the date she started doing rounds on social media, I did not know why my family left.
I am psychologically tortured, as she has kept our kids, that I saw to growth almst 5 times a day at Mp Shah hospital, when she was in the house recovering. Rev Lilian Young, a family confidant can attest to this.
Her accusations have damaged my reputation. My businesses are failling. It’s hurting, she is getting all this encouragements from somebody i called ‘mum’; the ‘mum’ who was against me marrying her from the day I introduced her.
In my pre-marital counselling I learned that there are no perfect marriages. Mine wasnt to be perfect and if yours is, then we give glory back to God. Challenges are there some I cant write, there are so personal that if I do rounds mentioning it might affect even our growing children.
As alleged by my wife , we were not compatible. And if that is the case, kindly lets move on. Clout chasing with me may not help much instead, our kids will one day question you, why you deprived them the love and support of their father.
I wish you well and all the grace to overcome every obstacle.”