Ken on 26th Nov

1.Umoja ni estate,utengano ni setbook. 2.mbio za marathon huishia kwa balcony. 3.cha mlevi huliwa na MUTUTHO. 4.asiyekubali kushindwa,atakuwa….. 5.Ukistaajabu ya musa,hujasikia ya ONYANCHA. 6.mpiga ngumi ukuta ni SONKO. 7.Usipoziba ufa,watu watakuchungulia. 8.mgema akisifiwa mututho huingilia kati. 9.kidole kimoja ni jina ya church ya...

Ken on 25th Nov

Next time you get stuck in jam, do the following to kill time especially if you are in a matatu. 1) Pick your nose and show your neighbor. Then, while giggling very excitedly, tell them “Its the biggest I have caught this week!” 2) Whistle “Mary had a little lamb!”. Repeat twice while dramatizing. 3) Pretend you are about...

Ken on 22nd Nov

It’s Friday once again, that time of the week when we all log into nairobiwire.com to find the best photos of the week, neatly arranged in a single post. If you’re not a football lover however, you’ll probably not enjoy today though… just kidding, there’s something for everyone We start of with our man at Barcelona. A...

Ken on 19th Nov

1. If you are known by your children’s name e.g Mama Kayai, Mama Kamau 2. When you use the words “and finally” during a speech and keep going for another 30 minutes 3. If you call any hot beverage tea, be it chocolate or coffee 4. If you stop in the middle of the street to drop or pick up passengers 5. When you say “I saw...

Ken on 19th Nov

You’ve probably fallen prey to an incredibly hyped newspaper headline, like those found on the 10 shillings, 4 pages ‘newspapers’ on corridors of many Nairobi streets. Reading through the paper reveals either a very unrelated story from the headlined one, or some 2 paragraph article, some of which is internet copy paste. Below are...

Ken on 15th Nov

TGIF. Time to look at the best pics on social media this week. As always, football tops the charts. From Manchester United’s miraculous  usual comeback, to a preview of 70 year old Messi and Ronaldo. Then a ‘little pit of Pifwoli Wakoli,’ because we all know what he did. And then back to football for some Gor Mahia moment. ...

Ken on 14th Nov

Yesterday witnessed another trending twitter hash tag, #TheNairobiWoman. Kenyans on Twitter, or #KOT as they are commonly known , united to give what turned out to be the most hilarious compilation of traits of Nairobi women. The following are the best of those tweets. #TheNairobiWoman handbag ni kubwa hadi ina search button.” ~> \_ #TheNairobiWoman...

Ken on 14th Nov

-She claims she is worth Sh 1 million dowry-She listens to Riddims-She says thate fae, dthhree and twelof-when talking about some intellect topic she only just shakes her head in agreement & says ”enyewe”-her shoe size is 9 or more-she talks like bonoko-she puts sugar cane in fruit salad -she washes sukuma wiki after cutting it then...

Ken on 11th Nov

One day a tourist comes to the only hotel in a debt ridden town in Kenya. Lays a 100 dollar note on the table & goes to inspect the rooms. Hotel owner takes the note & rushes to pay his debt to the butcher. Butcher runs to pay the pig farmer. Pig farmer runs to pay the feed supplier. Supplier runs to pay the prostitute, who in these hard...

Ken on 07th Nov

If USA was Kenya, today’s headlines will read: · Don’t celebrate yet, Romney tells Obama (TELL magazine) · Concede defeat, Obama urges Romney (Punch newspaper) · 20 opposition cadres riot (The Sun newspaper)· Romney Demands Vote Recount (Vanguard newspaper)· Elections rigged (Guardian newspaper) · No evidence of manipulation (NTA...

Ken on 01st Nov

Football has dominated social media discussions this week. First was the very controversial Manchester United win at Stamford Bridge, to the extent that they’ve been awarded new shirt sponsors. Then came Arsenal’s comeback from 4-0 down, and then Chelsea revenged on Manchester United, though they were almost beaten by the latter’s...

Ken on 31st Oct

She always spots a wig semester in-semester out Wigs are dirty, smelly, unkempt and surely unattractive. One thing is clear though for sure.  That the gal in question has no sense of being a naturalist, and she is incapable of maintaining a natural hair. So if she can’t take care of a small thing such like her hair, how will she really take...

Ken on 31st Oct

1.       George- Chochi2.       David –Tebiti 3.      Dennis-Tennis 4.      Gedion-Gitioni 5.      Sylvia-Sibia 6.      Jane-Chane 7.      Richard-Richati 8.     Edina-Etina 9.      Evelyne-Ebarini 10.  Geoffrey-Choburi. 11.   Jackline-Chakirini 12.  Dinah- Tina 13.  Peter-...

Ken on 28th Oct

A village chief, Cuthbert Kasikai Majada died last week after his manhood remained erect for a month. The strange incident is said to have occurred after the chief was caught sleeping with his nephew’s wife. After catching Kasikai with his wife, the nephew didn’t react but only told villagers that he will deal firmly with the chief. A few...

Ken on 24th Oct

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. ______________________________ _______ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks ______________________________ ________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS:...

Ken on 23rd Oct

Below are some of the best unedited tweets from the hashtag #KCSE2012, that was trending whole day yesterday History:Who are the original speakers of the “Xaxa xweety” language?the Xhoisan or Facebook users in Kenya?  Kenya funerals are used mainly for: (a) Campaigning (b) Campaigning (c) Campaigning (d) Campaigning (2 marks  Titrate...

Ken on 22nd Oct

LUO ENGLISH and Ordinary English Go Head To Head ORDINARY ENGLISH: Peoplewho live in glasshouses should not throwstones. LUO ENGLISH : Individualswho make their abodesin vitreous edifices wouldbe advised to refrainfrom catapulting perilousprojectiles. ***************************** ORDINARY ENGLISH:Twinkle, twinkle, little star LUO ENGLISH: Scintillate,scintillate,...

Ken on 22nd Oct

GLOBAL ECONOMICS DE-MYSTIFIED SOCIALISM:You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM:You have 2 cows; The Government takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM:You have 2 cows; the Government...

Ken on 21st Oct

5 things American Movies Teach Us: 1. Chinese Have Nothing Better To Do Than Teaching Or Practice Kung Fu. 2. More Than 50% Of U.S. Population Are FBI/CIA Agents, Working Undercover. 3. The Purpose Of School System Of U.S. Is To Promote Basketball / Baseball. 4. Aliens Have Special Interest In Attacking U.S. 5. U.S. Is A Place Where You Can Meet All...

Ken on 14th Oct

KENYA POLICE RECRUITMENT TEST QUESTIONSNAME:________________RANK:________________ TIME: 2 Weeks. SECTION A 1) Is The African Continent A Continent Or A Country? If It’s A Continent (Which Is It), What Is   The Name Of This Continent? 2) Who Is The President Of Kenya? A) Mwai   B) Emilio Kibaki   C) I Don’t Know 3)  Read Below And Answer The...