Esther Passaris Advice to Women on How to Deal with Men and their Egos

May 3, 2017

Nairobi County Woman Representative aspirant Esther Passaris has shared her wisdom on how to deal with men’s egos.

Speaking on Citizen TV’s Monday Special show, on May 1st, Passaris advised women, especially those in an African setting, that they should make men believe that an idea originated from them – even if it did not – in order to get things done efficiently.

“Make him believe that the idea is his. Believe you me, if you turn it around and make him believe that (what you are implementing is his idea), and you actually agree with him, and then you find a way to go round,… This is the thing, a man would not want to implement an idea that is not his; he would not want to implement an idea where you don’t make him feel respected and needed. If you read books such as the Bible, you have submission as the main thing. I think God knew that these men have egos and so submission is a very big thing to a man,”  said Passaris.

Asked whether she would submit to her male counterparts in Parliament should she be elected, Ms Passaris, said yes; but on condition.

“When I talk about submission I don’t mean submission to the point where you are stupid. I mean submission to the point where you recognize that men will always want to be the head in everything. So, you go around it in a different way. We are in an African country, where it is even worse. If it was in a Scandinavian country, I wouldn’t have to deal with that issue (male ego) because they already view women as equals. But in Africa? No we don’t, we don’t. Women are not yet equal to men,” she said.

She explained that the patriarchal setting in Africa places men at a perceived superior platform hence the men’s fragile ego, which, according to her, is easy to deal with for women in politics.

“A woman has to almost understand that you are probably dealing with a man who is narcissistic, who has an ego, who has a position; and he doesn’t understand what you are doing in this space (politics). This (politics) is men’s domain.

“A lot of men have a lot of respect for me because of what I have achieved. But it still does not stop them from seeing me as a woman who is supposed to be inferior. I think respect is earned gradually and slowly and I don’t want to push it. The majority that will be in Parliament will be men. And we will need to sit down and agree; come on, look at the reality – our people are suffering, our people are poor. I think people are beginning to understand that Kenyans are tired, they want leadership,” said Passaris.

Esther Passaris, who won the ODM’s Woman Representative ticket will face off with Jubilee Party candidate Rachel Shebesh, among other aspirants on August 8 general election.

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