Kenyans Ridicule Robert Alai’s Inspector General Candidature

October 16, 2012

I have decided that I want to be the first Inspector General of police. I am offering my candidature..” Alai

Yesterday, controversial blogger Robert Alai surprised friends and foes when he announced his intention to offer his candidature for the post of Police Inspector General; the first in Kenya. This was his tweet.

I have decided that I want to be the first Inspector General of police. I am offering my candidature. Serious!!  

I am requesting all #KOT to rally behind me and let me win this job. I can change Kenya Police. 
He then started a twitter hashtag, #Alai4InspectorGeneral, which he then used as a sign off in his subsequent tweets.Some of them included:

I hope that none of the current top brass will feel threatened by my candidature. #Alai4InspectorGeneral

Kenya Police needs a modern well equipped and trained police service. I can do it. #Alai4InspectorGeneral 

We cannot have our policemen live like dogs in a cage. We need to value our human resource. #Alai4InspectorGeneral

Within a few minutes, and as is custom with hashtag having Alai’s blessings, #Alai4InspectorGeneral had spread fast. Some welcomed the move with others terming it ridiculous. The following are some of the initial reactions to his announcement.

#Alai4InspectorGeneral …. this my friends is the way the world ends….not with a bang but with a whimper
@Robertalai has over 5yrs experience in social media enough experience #Alai4InspectorGeneral
alafu mkiambiwa kuna ndoto za ajab mnaanza kubishana~~~~> #Alai4InspectorGeneral

#Alai4InspectorGeneral because his face can scare the hell outta all the thugs  

#alai4inspectorgeneral to investigate what came first the egg or the chicken
#Alai4InspectorGeneral he knows who let the dog outs

#Alai4inspectorGeneral because he saw Adam and Eve eating an apple ati #teamiphone

Unexpectedly, tweeps soon took a different turn. They abandoned the hash tag en masse coming up with an alternative and more interesting one; #CrimesAlaiWouldSolve. Here, Kenyans on Twitter came up with some of the funniest one liners in recent weeks. Below are some of the best.
#CrimesAlaiWouldSolve ile tablet Moses used, was it Apple or Samsung. 
#CrimesAlaiWouldSolve why it was John the Baptist awarded the contract to prepare the way instead of China Wu Yi
Why Mbusi-Day and Bonoko-Day are not national holidays 
#CrimesAlaiWouldSolve whether Ole Kiyapi was born with a gap on his teeth or not 
#CrimesAlaiWouldSolve who killed the donkey in ”Picky picky Ponky”. 
#CrimesAlaiWouldSolve Why Cain killed Abel.
#CrimesAlaiWouldSolve the company that baked the loaves that fed the 5000
Arsenal’s 7yr trophy drought.
Why Muturi refused to go and eat meat at Nicole’s house 
#CrimesAlaiWouldSolve If it really wasn’t Shaggy 
#CrimesAlaiWouldSolve which highschool Tom and Mary of Hallo Children went to 
#CrimesAlaiWouldSolve Nani huuza Mutura pale Ngara siku hizi 
#crimesAlaiWouldSolve who pays the bill for the light at the end of the tunnel?” 
#CrimesAlaiWouldSolveWho exactly is this Ken guy that owns KENgen, KENsalt, KENgeles, KENcom, KENatco, KENchic, KE …
#CrimesAlaiWouldSolveNani alichapa wakorino wote kichwa?”
We will wait to see if Robert Alai becomes Kenya’s first Inspector General, but the strict qualification requirements eg the 15 year top management postition may be his biggest stumbling block 


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