Tanzanian musician Bernard Michael Paul Mnyang’anga alias Ben Pol says he probably wouldn’t have married Anerlisa Muigai had he not ignored the red flags in their love affair.
Speaking for the first time since he filed for divorce from the Keroche heiress in March, Ben Pol said their relationship was on and off.
In an interview with SkyWalker, Ben Pol said it was not easy to single out the exact cause that led to their marriage falling apart.
He however suggested that ‘insecurities’ on the part of Anerlisa played a part. Ben Pol said their marital troubles started in September of 2020.
“When reports emerged on social media last year that we had split, things were bad, we were not on speaking terms. It is true, we had split for about a month and a half. Things were bad to an extent Anerlisa sent me documents from her lawyers asking for a separation,” Ben Pol said.
The singer said they managed to get over the setback and got back together by the start of November.
“We were good until February this year when again the bubble burst. Again, we separated in episodes. We did not speak for three weeks, tried fixing things, but we were back in the woods and this time things were intense,” he said.
“Whatever happened in the two years, ilikuwa tu imepangwa na Mungu, maana kila mtu alikuwa alivyo na familia zilikuwa zinatusapoti,” he said.
The Moyo Machine singer intimated that he received a letter from Anerlisa’s lawyers forbidding him from discussing the rocky marriage in public.
According to Ben Pol, the letter was unreasonable.
“Going back to the separation letter, from where I sit, I think it was driven by a lot of insecurities and fear. People do so much for the sake of protecting their image. I think she( Anerlisa) felt I knew so much and maybe one day I would blast. That’s just not me,” Ben Pol said.
“I found the letter from her lawyers baseless because it was actually gagging me not to speak about my marriage. I mean if you are married you have the right to speak about your marriage if you want to, how then do you gag someone from not speaking about their lives if they wish to do so,” he wondered.
Ben Pol said he tried his best to save the marriage but he ultimately got fed up with the back and forth and filed for divorce.
“I did my best, when I got into the marriage situation, I was serious, I wasn’t joking or passing time, I had invested in it. The reason why I did a lot of work to make it work and even if we are to do it again, I will not change anything. I will still do what I did to save the situation. It was God’s plan that it didn’t work out,” he explained.
Ben Pol also mentioned that the rocky period in his marriage to Anerlisa Muigai was a trying moment.
“Kipindi hicho kilikuwa kigumu sana…mpaka majira ya siku yalibadilika. Yaani kuna wakati nilikuwa naamka saa kumi na moja joini ndo nakunywa breakfast, nakula lunch saa tatu usiku, dinner saa tisa Usiku, nalala sa kumi na moja. Lakini I did a lot of work to be okay..I was invested kweli kwenye mapenzi and I gave my all, so when things went south I was hurt,” he said.
Ben Pol said his biggest regret was ignoring the many red flags indicating that the marriage wouldn’t work.
My biggest regret was ignoring the signals in the relationship…I’m a very prayerful person…There were many signals that kept popping up but I kept ignoring them for a very long time. If I had not, the marriage wouldn’t have happened. I believe we are all capable of foreseeing our future going by our gut feelings or instincts,” he said.
Asked whether he still has feelings for Anerlisa Muigai, Ben Pol said: “Kwa saa hivi mimi namuombea tu heri lakini kusema ati namzimia, hapana hakuna kitu kinaweza kutokea kati yangu mimi na yeye.
“Simfeel kabisa, unfortunately, sidhani kama ni kosa, huo ndo ukweli wangu.”
Ben Pol noted that the divorce is yet to be finalized at the primary Court (Mwanzo Court in Dar es salaam).