DONT MESS WITH KANSOMONDI.
A TRAFFIC COP TAPS HIS TINTED WINDOW…
POLICEMAN: (tapping the window) mzee fungua dirisha.
OMONDI: nkt! Who is that knocking the window to my 2.8 million silling Landcruiser VX with his bare hand?? ong’eer.
POLICEMAN: mzee unajua ni hatia kuwa na tinted window kwa gari yako??
OMONDI: omera, is that why you are annihilating the hygiene of my multimillion automobile with your fingerprints?? Next time tumia samsung galaxy s5 and above to tap, infact dont tap, you swipe my window, iwinjo? Krokodael.
POLICEMAN: mzee mbona uko na tinted window and its an offence, what are you hiding??
OMONDI: so you want potential criminals to see me counting dollars inside my car in the full glare of the public isnt it? Kasto kawang’ giseginene, you will hear BBC, CNN and CBN news saying that ooh, manager so and so is the one who attracted criminals; that ooh, CEO so and so was bragging his millions ooh, buana weya mos pilis.
POLICEMAN: (requesting back up) tango one to tango two, requesting back up over…
OMONDI: (dialling on his phone) haloo barack? Yaye wewe ni nani uyo nasika sime ya OBAMA?? Ati P.A mar white house?? P.A manade, nipe kassin chokee! Heloo kassin, eyi ilaaal! He he am running late to the airport because of traffic he he. Do thiis, send mee back up ya airforce wan achukue mimi hapa, ngoja kidogo niulise huyu polis..(to the cop)buana which police station are you taking me to??..yaye huyu polis nimeenda wapi tena?? Poliice?? Police yoo?
Jaduong’