Characteristics of a Nairobi Woman

February 25, 2013

1. Ukimkosea u apologise. Akikukosea u still apologise..nkt!!

2. She hangs out with her galfriends kwa uptown joints ameitisha juice glass moja ya 100 anakunywa since 12pm hadi 6pm aki Facebook 

3. She calls u stingy juu hautoboki but wait till umuombe ikus wololo

4. She changes her Facebook profile picture kama ngotha. Really desperate for likes and comments?

5. Hawezi ku call and if u dont call, its like World war 3

6. Kujifanya na accent zao za uwongo…she usually talks like, “imargiyn we endad to thar parry then kidogo afrawads..we tokad and went to..” (suddenly..mwizi aki snatch hand bag) her accent automatically gramatically disappears..she goes like, “woooi nisaindieni..mbagi yangu imeibwo..muisi muisi!!!

7. You buy her credit n she NEVER texts u let alone call. You have to take heart bro. Jesus is really coming soon

8. She never misses those Mexican Soap Operas, which are staged and she calls Kenyan men unromantic. Furthermore, she treats a relationship as a source of income. Really, who is more UNROMANTIC?? 

9. Unamsikianga tu aki diss magari kama Pro Box na kwao hata baiskeli hakuna

10. Akinyeshewa tao maji inafika chini ikiwa na colours mob. Blue, Green, Red, Purple, Violet, Orange, White, Black, Indigo etc

11. Her weave can weigh upto 30kg hata simu ya china kando 

12. You take her out and she orders 5plates of food. Chicken, soup, rice, some cabbages and chips. Na hamalizangi…

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