Tanzania’s singing sweetheart Vanessa Mdee has shed more light on her decision to quit music as she embarks on a self-discovery journey.
Speaking on her podcast “Deep Dive with Vanessa Mdee“, the songbird said that while she loves music, the industry itself is demonic and it steered her down the wrong path.
In a 29 minute talk, Mdee said her new mission is to be a light that advocates for honesty, beauty and what facing one’s demons can do for an individual.
“I don’t know who needs to hear this but my mission is to be a light. I know that I will probably disappoint a few people and that’s okay, I know that my fans don’t wanna hear this but guess what I am never gonna be too far away from you, trust me. The reason why I had to leave the industry is because I needed to choose my life, the music industry is demonic. People will tell you half-truths about what really goes on, and the truth is I just wanna be an advocate for honesty and beauty and being a sincere advocate for what facing your demons can do for you.
“Now my fans are probably asking themselves right now; Are you gonna never sing again? Are we gonna never see you perform? Let me reiterate, I love music, I love to create, I love to perform, I’m a vessel, this is what I was brought on earth to be, but maybe I was a vessel to be here in this moment to have gone through everything that I have gone through so that I can tell you most honestly the truth about things you will never hear somewhere else,” said Mdee.
The singer also opened up on falling into depression and alcoholism for the better part of last year, something that prompted her to look within herself.
“I drank myself to sleep every night. I am not proud of it but it is my truth and I know there are people who need to hear this. I was lying to people around me to cover up and to keep the facade alive,” she said.
“I became a person of horrible choices. I couldn’t recognise myself anymore because I woke up every day trying to just get by and I don’t want to just get by anymore. More than ever, I had moments of anxiety and moments of depression, I had moments of I don’t know what to do next because this pressure is unnatural for a human being. And what comes after that? This may come as a shock to many because I hid it so well but I was depressed and an alcoholic,” added Ms Mdee.
“My advice to someone out there, is that be true to who you are. I used to say this in many interviews but not really understand any of it, because then again it sounded like the right thing to say. But be true to who you are, I had to look at myself, face myself that it was pain, it was shameful, it was scary but I had to do it because there was no other way and in that I found peace and in that I found elevation, I found desire and passion for life,” she recounted.
The Atlanta-based singer also advised her fellow African stars not to chase the American dream.
“Trust me I used to wake up every morning questioning what the hell is this about, why are we doing this again? A lot of people used to say to me but you are in America now, (I live in Atlanta now) and that is the Mega of Music you have the perfect opportunity…I’m gonna tell you this, and this is a note to my African stars and artistes out there, don’t chase the American dream there are too many Selena Gomez’s out here, not yet even conceived and there is only just a few chances not to kill your dream but be great where you are, that’s the only way to do it. They will come to you organically nobody is really giving chances to Africans like that, it’s when you shine in your space, is when the chances will come to you. Don’t kill yourself chasing the American dream,” said Mdee.
She added: “I have no desire to do anything that is music industry-related, I have no desire to go to another award show, to keep up a facade, I have no desire to be a pseudo person which I truly became and I could not recognise myself anymore.
“This is my truth and me letting you into this space because I don’t want to live a candy-coated life anymore. I became a robot and I have no desire to be a robot or be unhappy anymore, because that’s what I was, unhappy.”