“Sonko Has Bad Fashion Sense, Fake Jewelry and Mshamba Hairstyles..” Mzungu Mkenya Explains

January 30, 2015

sonkoIn a now deleted blogpost, a Mzungu living in Kenya has delivered a hard hitting analysis of Nairobi Senator Mike Sonko. The blogger, who last year called Kenyans ‘The Laziest People‘, believes the Nairobi Senator is a small kid trapped in an old man’s body.
He attacks his fashion sense, hair style, jewelry and antics.
Here’s the post.
My beloved people of the hot city under the sun. It’s been a while, I took a small break to analyze your comments which as you will soon find out are proof to my accurate findings that most of you guys are full of malenge for brains; the basis of your unending economic, security and political problems. The father and the greatest of all you brainless Kenyans is none other than the Nairobi senator Mike Sonko.
This blog is going to be short because I don’t want to kill my brain cells on this poor little kid trapped in an old man’s body. It’s really sad to be a Kenyan right now because anyone can be a leader in Kenya. It’s probably the only place in the world where money and irrespective of where it comes from is the only qualification for a public office. So here goes a challenge to my cool kids, tech savvy, all knowing, online voting, insult hurling and demonstrating Nairobians:” How the fuck is an imbecile like Mike Sonko your senator”? How do you allow such a guy to even leave your boarders to represent your country anywhere? The amount of shame and the thickness of the negative light he painted your country in at the Hague Netherlands will take generations to clear.
Before I list his stupid child like attention seeking tactics, let me tell you something about how he acquires his money. Despite his pointless drama and public image, I want to commend MikeSonko for once in a while being a truthful politician. For a man with no education background, a man whose only history known to the whole country is being a matatu owner and employer of some of the most uncouth, disrespectful, deranged and student impregnating people in Nairobi, he is undoubtedly doing very well albeit through very bad ways.
sonkoMike Sonko is involved in drugs, land grabbing and a few other lucrative but illegal trades that the ordinary Kenyan brain is not ready for at this point. I look at journalists in Kenya and wonder whether they even studied journalism or even understand what it’s about. People like Mike Sonko should be asked questions and investigated by the likes of Jeff Koinange, Larry Madowo, Johnson Mwakazi or even some young guy in Bamba TV. But no, journalists want to be celebrities. Larry Madowo would rather take a selfie with Sonko instead of asking him why he served a term in Shimo La Tewa Prison.
It’s simple, despite his illegal bloodshed money; Mike Sonko still has got a very bad strain of inferiority complex. He is still fighting the days before he started working for a drug baron when everyone stepped and shitted on him. Otherwise, how would you explain an old man with bad fashion sense, loads of fake jewelry and keeps changing cheap ugly hair styles like a mushamba house maid in Buruburu? Evidence that Mike Sonko is a drug dealer is the amount of money he has and how he uses it. Man with money who genuinely helps people would never need to scare the same people he claims to love and help. The big guns and siren led motorcade are a fake show of power to scare away the very few Nairobians who know that this man is out to finish any smart minds amongst the youth. But the stupidity involved in everything Kenyan never ceases to amaze me. Sonko wants to be a Saudi prince but he’s just a mushamba.
Even his name is fake! The show he pulled at the Lee Funeral Home was the most stupid show of power ever played on Kenyan soil. Kenya is such a peaceful country; no one needs to come with body guards brandishing guns like AK47 and M16. But he did it anyway and the ever gullible, naive and stupid Kenyans gave in. I grew up among top Swiss military guys because my father was one of them so let me give you Sonko and any Kenyan willing to listen a free lesson. The big guns displayed on that day are very ineffective at protecting a brainless guy like Sonko. If you want to really protect a man, you don’t need baboons with short guns but smart guys with handguns. If I stood by the road and shot at Mike Sonko’s car, I will kill him before his squeezed bodyguards find room to adjust their M16s and fire back.
That’s basically how useless Sonko’s security team is. But I forget, Sonko doesn’t know about executive protection, he is a ghetto drug dealer who’s made enough to move into the suburbs. Any visionary leader that really wants o create change would do things completely differently from Sonko. If I had that money, I would build more schools, more vocational training institutions and advice people to be responsible. But Sonko has got misplaced priorities. He’s got a breakdown so you can drink all your money and have your car towed away to the auctioneers while you nurse liver cirrhosis. He’s got free limousines so you can marry and live in poverty forever thereafter.
Shame on you people of Nairobi for electing such a poor leader!
Stay tuned!
Ted Kraehenmann,

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