HILARIOUS – Open Letter To David Moyes By a Manchester Fan

March 19, 2014

RooneyManchester United fans are an angry, heartbroken lot. And it’s because of one simple reason…David Moyes. Over the weekend, they suffered a humiliating defeat to one of their most fiercest rivals, Liverpool at Old Trafford. The defeat leaves the great (not anymore) Manchester United with no hopes of getting into a Champion’s League spot. After the defeat, 450,000 angry fans are believed to have unliked the teams official Facebook page and it does not end there. Another fan wrote an open letter to Moyes to express himself. Here it goes.

To David Moyes, I hope all’s well and that you got some sleep last night (Sunday night) though somehow I suspect not. Sorry about the open letter, I know it’s an irritating phenomenon but I don’t know your address and I feared if I sent this to Old Trafford there was a chance it wouldn’t reach you. Also, you sent one to us fans last week so let’s just call it 1-1 (surely you’ll take a draw given most of the results this season?). First off, I like you. I think you’re a good man and a decent manager. I even like your Malcolm Tucker Style death stare, but, for a whole host of reasons, it’s not working out. I genuinely believe you would do a perfectly acceptable job for 15 of the 20 Premier League teams but it’s not happening at United. You have hardly been helped by the owners or Ed Woodward, a man whose transfer strategy appears to be little more than dialing numbers at random and hoping for the best. Your old mate Fergie didn’t do you many favours either (beyond the massive one of getting you the job) since he left you an ageing squad entirely bereft of a midfield. Still, having finished somewhere between first and third for two decades, do you not think top four should have been a possibility with the reigning champions? Granted, the team overachieved under the previous manager but surely this has to be deemed underachievement. And are you not responsible for motivating the players?
They don’t seem fussed by bad results, something unheard of in years gone by. In a season of lows, yesterday was the nadir. The only show of support for you was an ironic banner in the away end reading: “David Moyes is a football genius.”  Friends like these, eh? Much was made of the unwavering support of the home fans but we were doing little more than reminding the Liverpool supporters how many titles we’ve won. We have become everything we once mocked. How far we done fell. We are now literally at a stage where some fans would genuinely rather see the crapper Neville brother take charge for the remainder of the season. We are talking about the most successful and storied club in the history of British football. If you were on mid ’90s MTV dating show Singled Out, at this point the audience would be chanting “you gotta go, you gotta go…” You keep saying you’re surprised by poor results and that they are in some way unexpected.
You come across like a man who’s been repeatedly kicked in the crotch when someone approaches you and tells you he’s going to kick you in the crotch. He then kicks you in the crotch and you can only comment, “I didn’t expect that.” Other than the win against Arsenal at home, United haven’t managed one really good result in a big game this season. You keep saying on our day we’re as good as anyone but when will that day arrive? The team have managed as many goals at home as the bottom club in the league, Fulham. Not without reason did my father take his glasses off with 5 minutes remaining yesterday so he could witness no more. It’s an almost impossible job to follow someone after a 26 year spell in charge and I do feel sorry for you but some of your decisions have been baffling. Why did you not take Adnan Januzaj to Greece, even just to have as an option on the bench? Why did it take you so long to make any changes yesterday? It clearly wasn’t working and when we conceded right at the start of the second half surely something had to be done? Why did you say, prior to the game against Newcastle, “We’re going to make it as hard for them as we possibly can.”
This was the visit of an Alan Pardew side, not Bayern Munich. I’m sure you won’t walk away (for financial reasons as much as anything else) but you don’t look happy and seem to be ageing faster than Robin Williams in Jack. I hope you can turn it round and we all laugh about this one day but it’s difficult to imagine and, at this point, I’d settle for seeing us play like Big Ron’s boys, never mind Fergie’s. Still, at least two myths were dispelled yesterday. 1. Away teams can’t get a decision at Old Trafford and 2. The home fans are quiet. Liverpool got the same number of penalties at the ground in 77 minutes yesterday as United have had at Anfield in 83 years. I’m getting a little bit tired of United breaking the wrong kind of records on a weekly basis. Things need to improve, and fast. Please try and get the players motivated for the game during the week. It would be fun to witness a good performance in the Champions League, particularly as we might not be in the competition again for a while. Yours sincerely, Darren Richman (Man United fan).

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