Very Funny Yaya Toure Facts

November 29, 2013

The football genius better known as the Ivorian beast in his mother country is among the best footballers if not the best in Africa. He currently plies his trade at Manchester City in the English Premier League which has a huge following here in Africa.

Yaya ‘Power House’ Toure is known for his ever present midfield display. He plays with alot of energy and boosts a burst of pace in his game. He keeps the midfielder of both his club and country kicking with his body engine.

It’s no surprise therefore that there is a whole twitter account dedicated to Yaya Toure’s facts. Some true, most exaggerated and all very funny.

Here’s a selection of the best.

Yaya Toure can cut metal with his eyelashes. #ToureFacts 

The only time Yaya Toure was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake. #ToureFacts

Apple pays Yaya Toure 99 pence every time he listens to a song. #ToureFacts

Yaya Toure can squeeze Apple juice out of an Apple iPhone. #ToureFacts

The Bermuda Triangle used to be a square, until Yaya Toure kicked off a corner. #ToureFacts

When Yaya Toure looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Yaya Toure. #ToureFacts

At the age of 14, Yaya Toure broke both of his legs in a youth game. He jogged all the way home after. #ToureFacts

Yaya Toure once plugged the USA into a USB. #ToureFacts

When Yaya Toure punches you in a dream, you wake up with a bruise. #ToureFacts

Yaya Toure does not leave tips. Waitresses pay Yaya for the privilege of serving him. #ToureFacts

Before every match Yaya Toure is awarded the Man of the Match award. #ToureFacts

Yaya Toure can bench press Romelu Lukaku and Didier Drogba with one arm. #ToureFacts

Yaya Toure once killed a bird by throwing it off a cliff. #ToureFacts

Yaya Toure is capable of headbutting himself…in the back of his head. #ToureFacts

Yaya Toure once wrote a cheque, and the bank bounced. #ToureFacts

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Give Yaya Toure a fish and he will stab you with it. #ToureFacts

In the rain Yaya Toure does not need an umbrella. The raindrops avoid him. #ToureFacts

The Roman Empire didn’t fall, Yaya Toure tripped it. #ToureFacts

Jesus walked on water because he saw Yaya Toure coming. #ToureFacts

Yaya Toure doesn’t play “hide-and-seek.” He plays “hide-and-pray-I-don’t-find-you.” #ToureFacts

All Mortal Kombat fatalities are based off of Yaya Toure moves. #ToureFacts

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