The Incredible Life of ‘President’ Kingwa Kamencu

October 30, 2012

Broke ?? Disillusioned ?? Hates Underwear ?? ….    Madam President Yawa

Presidential aspirant Kingwa Kamencu is losing it… at least that’s what we can deduce from her Facebook status updates. The youthful presidential is clearly in a state of disillusionment. She has of late been posting weird updates on her account and yesterday it just got out of hand. This was her update.

In honor of Her Excellency Madam Kingwa Kamencu’s 29th birthday tomorrow, all citizens of Kenya are requested refrain from wearing underwear in accordance with Pillar Three of her campaign- An Underwear Free Africa (AUFA).

All citizens are also urged to turn up in great numbers at the Secrets Lounge (View Park Towers) from 7pm with a thousand bob (and more if you can) in hand as seed money for this early part of the campaign which will without a doubt be picking up with huge momentum in the next couple of days and delivering a historic and unprecedented win to State House.

Thank you and best wishes.

The Oxford trained 29 year old, considers herself 29 for the media, and 19 in real life… whatever that means. “It being the 31st of October 2012, i turn 29 (for the media, the official age is still 19).” she wrote. 
She has also picked up this unfortunate habit of referring to herself as Madam President at every instance.

Tonight at 9.50, Madam President appears on Agenda Kenya on NTV with other aspirants…

Okay people, tomorrow is your president’s birthday. 

Madam President’s Campaign Updates from Kisumu…

Digging into her recent posts and things get weirder.
Was given the chance to speak to revelers at Turtles Nightclub here in Kisumu a few minutes ago and the good people showed such love. Now that holding rallies will be such an arduous and financially draining venture, i’m thinking night clubs are the absolute way to go.
So watch out people, Kingwa Kamencu’s campaign (the winning campaign) will be coming soon to a town and a night club near you!!
This is just weird. One of the light switches above the bed produces some multi-coloured flashing disco light kind of thing. You can almost start dancing save for the lack of music. I wonder what inspired that particular aesthetic….
I think our general agenda when in government will be to deliver An Underwear Free Africa (AUFA); liberating African people to walk underwear free, like their ancestors did.
Ooh Madam President rides boda bodas.
Just checked into my hotel, Milimani Resort, here at Kisumu. I rode a pikipiki to get here, screaming in terror all the way (Usiniangushee!!!!!!) and with my metallic grey handbag, pink suitcase and me strangling the neck of the poor driver as i clung on for dear life, it must have been quite a sight! Nevertheless, hotel sweet hotel.
And she’s broke too.. 
I have a thousand bob. Which bus will get me to Kisumu at this rate/fare and where do i panda it?   
But Janet Mbugua’s alleged boyfriend, Gor Semelang’o has a motivation speech for her..
Next time get a flight ticket from my foundation and you could use my facility at the lakeside city for a day or two madam president.It is these little things you do that makes a hell lot of difference.worry not VP Bidden took a train ride for almost all his entire senate service to Washington.Many pple thaught that was ridiculous,but thats what endeared him to the american voters when obama chose him as a running mate.
And once in a while Madam President is invited for weddings.
I think i will be tokelezeaing for IMF meetings like this…. 
And finally, did you know Madam President buys those Sh 100 books sold along Tom Mboya Street pavements in the evenings… But her selection is weird..
I bought a cool book on the streets today for 100bob. Simply because the title made me laugh. Its called “Captain Underpants and the Invasion of The Incredibly Naughty Cafeteria Ladies From Outer Space (and the Subsequent Assault of The Equally Evil Lunchroom Zombie Nerds)”. ‘Captain Underpants’? How wonderfully mad!

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