Harrison Mumia, the president of the Atheists in Kenya Society (AIK), swears by open relationships with multiple partners.
The 43-year-old digital marketer says he is polyamorous and anti-marriage, which makes his sexual life “extremely exciting”.
Mumia breaks down how it all works.
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“I’m for partnerships. That’s what modern love is. In this type of relationship, if you find your partner having sex with somebody else, you make a rational decision on what to do next.
There’s nothing like cheating. This person hasn’t cheated on you. They’ve just made a choice that’s different from your expectations. People are independent. You can’t own another person.
In a partnership, you can’t force someone to be with you. Nobody belongs to another. You’ve just come together to try something, which may fly or flop.
Partnerships are about friendship. Sex isn’t the main thing in partnerships. If my partner has sex with someone else, I can’t condemn her. I can decide to continue with the partnership or end it.
You can be in partnerships with one or more persons. Limiting oneself to one partner is signing up for a boring life. I’m broad-minded. My sexual life is extremely exciting. Which means I have multiple sex partners. My partners have no issue with that. I’m happy. Life’s good.
I define a relationship as two or more people having something in common, or ideas they can share with each other, or experiences they hold dear that keep them together.
As long as any two or more people are comfortable in a relationship, do not interfere with it.
For instance, if I have a relationship with two other men, why should anyone be bothered about it? If a woman is having a relationship with two other women, it’s their business. My take is, as long as a relationship isn’t affecting anybody else negatively, let people be.
I’m pro-gay and pro-lesbian. I’m not gay, but I support any relationship where all parties are flourishing. The problem is in policing relationships. Telling people what’s right and what’s wrong. That’s where I draw the line.
I have many friends. I have intimate relationships with some. Some are casual friends. We like each other. I don’t know if they have intimate relationships with other men.
I’m not into any long-term relationship. By the way, there’s nobody in the world who’s in a long-term relationship. Who says that because you exchanged vows in church yours is going to be a long-term relationship? What’s important is happiness. One should not get into a relationship with the thought that it’s permanent. Be open. Let a relationship start, see how it goes, if something happens, try to resolve it. If it’s not working, leave. We’re being forced into relationships because society expects a woman and man to be together for better or worse. Relationships shouldn’t be for better or worse, but for the flourishing of both or all parties.
I’m not married. That’s a boring institution. I still wonder why people get married. I’m anti-marriage.”
