Dating can be all the fun the world can offer but marriage is totally different. It is full of ups and downs. Difficult at times, running smooth at others. That has been the case of a Kenyan lady who got married to her white husband some nine years ago until recently when all hell broke loose. As she narrated via a lengthy post, through the nine years they have been together, they have brought two lovely kids into this world but with lots of problems.
The lady, by the name Annie, reveals that the main reason she is a ‘refugee’ in her own home is because of continuously questioning her husband’s immoral lifestyle that he picked on shortly after they tied the knot.
Her husband, Jason (a United States Marine Corp Officer) has already given her an eviction notice (deadline; February 5th) to pack her belongings and leave his house for good.
This has forced her to look for ways she can return to Kenya. She has started a crowd funding campaign to raise $10,000.
This is her story.
Nobody is perfect, but when people work together, they make this world a better place. By putting away our differences and focusing on what is important in life. This is possible if we use our common sense, but what I have come to realize is that common sense is not that common to everyone.
Hi I’m Annie; I was born and raised in Kenya. I relocated to USA with a fiancée visa to marry the love of my life 9.7 years ago. He is a United States Marine Corp Officer. I met Jason while he was on business/work related travel in Kenya. We dated for a year, and as soon as the immigration process was through, I left all of my family, my friends, and a well paid managerial position. I gave up everything I knew for him. I was happy and excited to have found someone to share the rest of my life with. He promised to never hurt me in anyway. He said he would always be there for me and our children, if we had them someday.
During the 9.5 years we lived together, my husband never mentioned how unhappy he was with our marriage. He complained of stress from work which he never really discussed much with me because he said I wouldn’t understand. I respected that and I always gave him the space he needed to relax.
Remember in the beginning I said that nobody is perfect; well my husband has made stupid mistakes in the past that hurt me emotionally.
In our first year of marriage, while I was pregnant with our daughter, I caught him exchanging inappropriate emails with a Japanese woman after he had just returned from training in Japan. Another time a supposedly female best friend came to stay in our home, and I caught him and her in the spare bedroom with the lights off and the door locked. Just recently he brought another female friend into our home and they would go out every night and drink/party and only God knows what else happened. Jason’s aunt was staying with us at the time and stated “Annie, you are a third wheel.” During our 9+ years of marriage I can count on my fingers the number of times he has taken me out. Every single weekend, he goes out drinking, partying and hanging out with his single friends. He has also claimed that he was studying with his friends and will stay there all weekend while I stay home by myself taking care of his children. Despite all of this, I believed in him and our marriage and I gave him countless times to change.
In August of 2014, we found out we were going to be blessed with another child. We also found out he was getting orders to go to Hawaii. We both believed that things would get better. When our son was born, he refused to have newborn pictures taken by the hospital photographer and refused to have an announcement placed in the newspaper. Why would a father not want to capture these special moments?
In the days and months to follow he held his son minimal times and refused to watch him so that I could take a shower or eat my meal. He would walk right past him when he tried to reach out to him to be picked up. He grew more and more distant even eating dinner alone in the spare bedroom. His own daughter questioned why he wouldn’t eat dinner with the family. He stated that children are a nuisance and when they cry and make noise it irritates him. He has never once offered to change a diaper, bathe the kids, study or read with our daughter unless I beg him to. I don’t understand how someone that has a wonderful career, drives a Porsche, lives on the 38th floor of Waterfront Tower with spectacular views of Waikiki, a supporting wife and two beautiful children, and has all the freedom in the world could be so unhappy.
On 12/18/2015, Jason expressed to me that he was going to file for divorce. Four days later, on Christmas Eve, I got served with the divorce papers. He told me that marriage was stupid and claimed that it was a way for society to control you and to control how many sexual partners one should have.
He has told me many awful things including: that I am not family anymore, that I needed to go find my family back in Africa, he felt he was my meal ticket to get out of Africa, he claims I don’t love him and he doesn’t love me, he said I was lazy and told me that all I wanted was his money.
He has threatened that he will take the kids away from me, even though he doesn’t know how to take care of them. He told me he could replace me tomorrow and bring someone to take care of our children. He says I am mentally unstable and therefore I am unfit to be a mother. He also told me that he will make my life a living hell if I refused to agree to his terms of the divorce. We have been married for 9 years and 7 months. He has tried to force me to sign the divorce papers on several occasions. He knows if the divorce is finalized after the 10 year mark that I will be entitled to 50% of his retirement. He said he would rather be dead than to pay me for the rest of his life.
His latest tactics are filing a domestic violence claim and placing a restraining order which claims that I am extremely emotional and physical abusive. The domestic violence report is because I was talking to his parents one night and he didn’t like it. He grabbed the phone from my ear and threw it down and smashed it beyond repair. He told me it was his property so he could do what he wants. He then grabbed my purse away from me and claimed that I purchased the purse with his money. I told him it was a gift from a friend and he had no right to snatch it from me. I grabbed for my purse from his hands, and during the scuffle I scratched him.
That was the sole incident in our marriage that was ever physical, if you call that physical. Another way Jason is trying to make my life a living hell is messing up my credit. He refused to make the Porsche payment that is under my name in timely manner – In the last 3 months he has quit paying or has paid late to intentionally ruin my credit. I was aware of my declining credit score so just two days ago I applied for a credit card. I WAS DECLINED. He has totally taken away all my means to survive financially. First he kicked me out of the joint checking and now he ruined my credit which has prevented me from attaining a credit card.
I have gone to his command on several occasions to ask for assistance. On my last visit, I was advised that our problem was beyond their capabilities and wanted us to resolve this matter through attorneys. I have tried to seek help from the Navy Marine Relief Society for money to pay rent. They could only give me financial assistance if Jason gave me Power of Attorney which is not going to happen. Without the POA they could only offer me $50 for food.
I have until February 5th to pack and move my belongings to an unknown destination. I have NO Family to help me and NO MONEY to pay for lodging. I used to have 30,000 in my savings that I had saved during my employment as a dental hygienist. Jason took this money last year to put towards a business which is in his father’s name. I believe he strategically did this before he filed for divorce from me. Jason has told his parents that he doesn’t care where I go. How can you separate a mother from her children, that are incapable of taking care of themselves, and claim you care and love them?
I am asking for help so that I can be able to place a roof over my children and my heads by February 5th, 2016, food, lawyer retainer fees, and gas. I promise that every penny raised will be used wisely.
I am so grateful in advance for anybody that will take time to read my story to even pass it on and recommend it to other people and for those who are able to extend their kindness in small or large amounts. Having a roof for my children and I will give me peace of mind as I prepare for the next chapter in my life as a single mom and acquiring an attorney.
Act of kindness, I can always pass it on, and no one is immune to anything. Be blessed, and thank you.
Annie
