Open Letter To Churchill For Giving Us A Boring Show on Sunday

February 18, 2013

After last week’s ‘computer error’, Churchill Live made its debut this week as Churchill Show. It started with lots of energy with Churchill joining FBI dancers on stage and shocking everyone with his perfect coordination of dance moves. After the dance, the show started going downhill, and never made an attempt to look back.
Eric Omondi was supposed to save the situation, but the night went without him cracking a single joke. 

That has not gone down well with many Kenyans, and some took to social media to vent their frustration. Below is an open letter written by Diss Maker, artist and social media big wig Cabu Gah.

Morning Churchill,
I have had the priviledge to work with You,be mentored by U n learn from You. And ,on that note,My respect for You will always be intact…You are the KING of the Laughter Industry,No doubt. But Hey:
Even Kings get dethroned! You Never heard that?? Yes,Kings lose their power and get thrown off into exiles! And,am afraid,Ur treading on that risky road,My fellow Kamba Brother!
Last Sunday,the NTV computers crashed and the whole Episode 1 of Your show was lost! Kenya was disapointed! Hugely! Little did we know that it was God’s way of saying,”Hey Guys,You dont want to show this crap to the public! You just dont! I am a Loving God,let me save You the shame,am crashing this computers! No,seriously. Am CRUSHING this thing!!”
You ignored God’s little voice yesterday AND TOTAL CRAP HAPPENED!!!
What was that??? It was supposed to be a LAUGHING show! Heck! It was pure bullshit! My cat is funnier than that shit you showed!!
That was a total flop! Return the original stage! It was colourful,attractive and smaller! The new stage is a total disaster! Its a comedy show,NOT a funeral memorial service!!!
Dude,Your jokes are gone! Gone forever! You wasnt funny no more! Naaah,You aint! Up your game,or stick to radio! Even Ronaldo knew when to quit! You cant keep holding on to somethng for sooo long! Who are You?? Maina Kamanda??
Too many stupid adverts! After every 2 minutes! And that Ringtone advert! Total crap! Who would want to DOWNLOAD the SITOLIA ringtone in 2013??? We ALL did that in 2012! I bet even Gloria Muliro herself wouldnt use SITOLIA as her ringtone!!!
Worse Editing ever! Was Your editor drunk?? Or horny?? That wasnt editing! It was Laziness! NTV should fire that guy Asap! Let him go sell condoms in Nyandarua County!!!
What was That??? I am a NAIROBIAN! I DONT DO DJ AFRO! That shit WAS funny 13 years ago! When I was a teenager! It didnt come out as a JOKE..,It was more of a CHOKE of death!
Scrap that crap already! Toto,My Ass! If I want to watch Totos making a fool of themselves,al just watch MY OWN! Am an ADULT! Aint got time to get entertained by Totos! Am NOT Mutula Kilonzo!
You should have LET HIM TALK! You was asking the nigga too many questions! And wouldnt even let a nigga talk! I was waiting for the classic Dida Punchlines and them your drunk band kept playing him some distorted Arabic tunes! Let a nigga talk first! He can dance later! Or in Your dreams!
Whats that boy doing running up and down the stage every two minutes?? Who is he?? Security Service?? Bullshit! Get a seat and relax your tiny ass boy! Running up and down like a lactating chicken!!
If You introduce someone as the FUNNIEST MAN IN AFRICA,I actualy expect him to live up to that name! What was he doing there?? Hey Eric,that “am skinny ” joke is sooo 2008! Drop it already! Lifting paper gyms isnt funny! Its annoying! And those corrupted song clips,take them to Q TV. Thats where Your friend Kajairo operates from! Eric,Either give me punchlines before I punch you into line! Funniest Man,my ass!!
Otherwise,It was a boring,annoying,lethargic,cheap,poor,incoherent and unentertaining show!
I spent half of the time scratching my balls!


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