How Kikuyu Men Introduce Their Wives

September 27, 2012
For the past few days, there has been a lively discussion on how Kikuyu men introduce their wives to their friends. What stands out in most of the ‘introduction’ is their wittiness. The following are some of the funniest introductions adapted from both Facebook and Twitter. 
The English equivalent may not be as funny.

Niwakiona haria ciana cia rutire urimo. [You can now see where the kids got their stupidity]

Niurakimeona *pointing with the car key* [You can see her * pointing with the car key]

Uyu niwe thanduraga ta mbembe.

Ni wakiona indo ciakwa. [Can you now see my stuff]

Niwakiona people ya me.

Niwakiona kiria gitumaga nyinuke tene?  [This is the reason I go home early]

Uyu niwe nyina wa adu. [This is the mother of my kids]

Keki iyo wa miona atia? [How have you seen that cake]

Uyu niwe mwene indo!

Ino niyo MOMO yakwa  [This is my ‘momo’]

uyu niwe njata yakwa [This is my star]

Niwakiona mathina makwa. [Can you now see the root to all my problems]

Uyo niwe ajekaga gal a bubble

Gìkì nì kìo gìtheremende kìa ngoro yakwa.

Ucio ni we uthokagia hethabu ciakwa…  [This is the one who has been spoiling my mathematics]

Niwakiona [You can now see]

Mutiakiona haria handaga muti [That is where I plant the tree]

Uyu niwe utumaga juke wira dimunogu [She is the reason I always come to work tired]

Niwe wanjiguire tha. [She is the only one who felt pity on me]

Nìwakiona thirikari [Here is the government]

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