Hilarious – Valentines Letter From a Kalenjin

JOPRI BLETING,
B.O. POX 7708,
ELTRET.
My Tia Cherobon,
what’s ub my tia…..how are you? I hobe tis letter fints you alaif and well. Uko boa? uko jonjo?
cha kwansa kapisa ni kusema file nimekumiss. Kila mara nikikuwasa roho yangu inakimpia unaesa tania imeenda Olymbic. I cand wait to see you aken.
waja niwajane na story mingi na niseme tu my boind. Kuna shita maali. Nimekuwa nikiconsold my calendar na imeinsisnt kwampa Falendains day ni hii fraitei. Naelewa kwampa kama mwanaume unapenta mwanamuke ya ukweli kabisa pasi ni lasima umfanyie chambo kupwa kwa siku kama hio. Lakini my tia cheropon, mbona tuanse kuchifanya haba ni kama mabensi yetu ni ya siku mocha pekee? kwani nakubenda feprwar 14th pekee alapu nakujukia the rest of the year? Hapana. Mimi nakupenda kila siku ya mwaka my tia. Sioni mpona nikutandike makopi ya mabensi siku mocha pekee alapu the resti of the year upaki umesupaa.
Sawa hata tukisema ningetaka kukuspoil hii fraitei, opshens ni mbili. Either niombe overdraft kwa bank, ama nikupeleke hoteli mocha cheap hapo kambi kuku. Hio opshen ya pili nachua huwes kupali hata na tawa. Mambo ya overdraft nayo itakuwa ngumu. Itabidi umeamua kama niombe overdraft ya Falendains ama ya kukulipia collech ukiansa march. Your wish is my commant my tia.
I highly succhest that hio siku you keep yourself fery fery busy. Kama unafyoona, mfua imeansa. Afatali usimamie ndume ikilima shamba mjana yote alapu chioni ulale mapema chuu utakuwa umechoka yako yote. Alafu ukitaka usisikie fipaya, siku hio usiongee na hawa marapiki sako kama cheptum, chepkor na chepringis. Hao watakuringia na masawadi sao lakini hata hawachui hawa ma poyfrens wao huwa ni wesi. wanaipanga fidu Nairopi na kuusa alapu wana-mbesa hao.
Nachua kweli inasemekana kwampa mtu hawesi kula mabensi pekee, lakini hio Falendains day wewe jaripu kukula mabensi yangu tuone kama utakupa.
anyways wewe Chua nakubenda siku 365 a year. Mabensi ya siku mocha kwa mwaka wajia masongo wenye wako na makalfren mia tatu.
*****TETIX*****
1.All of me – John Legend
2. Trank in Laf – peyonze ft. Chay sii
3. Hakuna yule – Afril.
Yours Completely n Totally in laf,
Jobri “Lafi taffy” Kibleting.
– Courtesy