9 Things You Should Never Tell Couples Struggling With Childlessness – Kambua

November 9, 2020

Gospel singer and TV presenter Kambua is proof that childlessness can be overcome. After getting married, she waited for about 7 years before she welcomed her firstborn child, Nathaniel.

On top of that, Kambua is pregnant with her second child. The singer has been using her experience with infertility to create awareness while encouraging couples who are struggling with infertility.

In a recent post, Kambua highlighted things that people should not ask or say to a person or couple battling childlessness.

“Having walked the long, painful, sometimes lonely journey of infertility, I would like to share with you some things that women like me would like you to know. Today I’ll share the ‘What NOT to say’ to a person or couple struggling with infertility,” she wrote

Check out 10 Things You Should Never Tell Couples Battling Infertility:

  1. STOP asking people when they’re going to have children/ why they’re taking so long.
  2. If they already have a child, STOP asking when they will have another. (Secondary infertility exists)
  3. Weight gain is not an invitation to talk about whether or not someone is pregnant
  4. By all means, invite us to your baby showers. STOP walking on eggshells around us
  5. DON’T make suggestions/give advice on what to do “Just do IVF… Just Adopt”, etc, unless your opinion has been sought.
  6. Miscarriage & infant loss is a deep, deep form of heartbreak. Avoid saying things like, “God loved them more”… “It was God’s will”… “You’ll get another one”. Sometimes, silence is really golden.
  7. DON’T minimize the issue. Listen. Sympathise. Listen.
  8. STOP telling men that they score blanks, or telling women to up their game. It’s not about sexual prowess!
  9. DON’T compare people’s journeys. “So and so also had blocked tubes, PCOS, Endo”, etc. Everyone’s journey is unique and different

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