Kenyans and Tanzania on Twitter are currently locked in a tense diplomatic negotiation that could see Kenya ‘lose’ its finest export to Hollywood, Lupita Nyong’o.
The Tanzanians are adamant that they want the Oscar-winning actress if they are to release Kenyan rain stuck in their backyard. Yup, you read that right; Kenyan rain has been held hostage in Tanzania.
Seeing as Kenya has recently been ravaged by drought and the seasonal rains continue to delay, Tanzanians hold the upper hand in the negotiations.
The Kenya Met. Department has also said that the drought will persist until the end of the month.
According to Kenya’s acting Met. Director Stella Aura, the rain-bearing winds were taking their sweet time like a typical Kenyan timer, or rather “sitting” in Tanzania owing to low pressure. Wahenga, hiyo si ni uchawi?
“The seasonal rains are caused by the Inter-Tropical Convergence Zone but currently it has not moved northwards. It is sitting in Tanzania, the high-pressure systems in the South have not strengthened to the point of pushing the ITCZ. So there will be a delay but the rains will come towards the end of the month,” said Stella as quoted by Standard.
With a couple of weeks to go until the end of the month, Tanzanians have smelled blood, spurred by the 2016 reports that Mt Kilimanjaro is in Kenya.
Taking to Twitter, Tanzanian minister in charge of environment Mr January Makamba tabled their demands.
“Give us back our Lupita and we will release the rain. #NiZamuYetu” tweeted Makamaba.
But Kenyans were not going to just let Lupita go that easy. Furthermore, they have persevered for months without rain, what’s a couple of weeks more?
In their smart counter-offer, Kenyans offered 45 of their governors.
Here’s how negotiations went down:
Give us back our Lupita and we will release the rain. #NiZamuYetu pic.twitter.com/RQsYaLqDKm
— January Makamba (@JMakamba) April 11, 2019
Alaaaaa ???
— Idris Sultan (@IdrisSultan) April 11, 2019
????? Kenyans are too funny jamani kha;
— Anyisile Obheli (@Anyisile) April 11, 2019
we need our Lupita back ??
— Yusuph Mbilinyi.Jr (@YusuphMbilinyi8) April 11, 2019
Kenyans plz be serious, is your rain ‘sitting’ in Tanzania?…???
— Bakari Mugini Mabele (@BakariMugini) April 11, 2019
— James Mutinda (@JMutinda_snr) April 11, 2019
We can give 45 governors you release the rain be fair Lupita is our treasured girl.
— David kimwei (@DavidKimwei) April 11, 2019
Lupita or no deal
— theKIMAMBO (@UKimambo) April 11, 2019
??? and Wanyama too
— Erick Mallya (@1ErickMallya) April 11, 2019
I guess you can keep the rain in that case then
— Paige Wacheke (@PaigeWacheke) April 11, 2019
— Barbara Gonzalez (@bvrbvra) April 11, 2019
Hahaha poor Kenya ??? tupeni malindi na Mombasa yetu
— monicrecap (@PMonicrecap) April 11, 2019
Boss! pic.twitter.com/XDp7Bx4xKq
— Lorna Irungu (@KuisanMacharia) April 11, 2019
Hi January please tunaomba mvua yetu
— aggrey oriwo (@aggreyoriwo) April 11, 2019
— Yishai (@O_Ogolla) April 11, 2019
Tanzania,Tanzania,Tanzania,you first took Lupita,we accepted to share because we also think we own Kilimanjaro. Now you have crossed the line,we want our rain back 🙂 pic.twitter.com/nIzFJ4RRnj
— Kenyan Facts ?? (@KResearcher) April 11, 2019
I can’t imagine Kenyan cartels & other corrupt government officials have sold our rain to Tanzania. @DCI_Kenya should look at this.
????? pic.twitter.com/jOOkliGCRy
— Vulnerable Child. (@VulnerableChil1) April 11, 2019
If any Kenyan Politician stole from Tanzania please return whatever loot you took so that their Wizards can free our rain bearing clouds.
— ROWBOW RAWBOW (@Rowbowz) April 11, 2019
It’s about to rain in Nairobi after high level consultations between the two governments. Tanzania had impounded Kenyan bound rain for unspecified reasons. pic.twitter.com/8t5gyWdh6G
— MA (@_MohamedAdan) April 11, 2019
