Former Tusker Project Fame winner Ruth Matete has once again opened up about a difficult period in her life when she contemplated and attempted to take her own life.
Matete, who is now a worship leader at New Breed City -a church under Apostolic umbrella of Appointment International Ministries (AIM)- had a reflective seven days last week and took to social media to share some of the life lessons she has learned.
In a long post on Instagram over the weekend, Ruth Matete revealed how she attempted suicide several times when everything was not working for her.
“I’m sure we all have that one time in our lives when things were so bad we can’t compare it with any other time in our lives. I have such a year. And I remember how everything was not working for me. Thought of taking my life to end all the pain and misery… And to some point, I actually tried but I wasn’t successful because God! ” explained the songbird.
“Finances were not working. Relationship not working. Some main friendships ended…. Ministry was not working. And I thought to myself, am I of any value to this world?” she added.
According to Matete, she shut out any words of encouragement about a better future as she wanted a solution immediately.
“You meet someone and they tell you it shall be well some day. God will make a way!! ??? I didn’t want to hear anything that talked of future. I wanted a solution now now now! I wanted to hear, “God has made a way” “Things are okay” ”
“It is then that I learned that you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. One time I moved out of my house and went to live with my dad because he was scared staying alone was not safe. I kept trying to kill myself to no avail… At some point, I even believed that God was punishing me for something I did,” wrote Matete.
But having seen God’s goodness, Matete emerged unscathed and with 10 valuable nuggets of wisdom.
She penned: “But I have seen God. I have learned some major lessons in life.. 1. The pain we go through is to prepare us for the future
2. God’s timing is the best
3. God knows when you hurt and He has a reason for allowing the pain
4. The day you find out your purpose is the day you start living
5. Forgiveness of sin does not take away the punishment or consequences of the sin (Ask David in the bible)
6. God coreects us coz He loves us
7. When God wipes away your tears, He wipes it all… I mean, every kind of tear at once
8. Only God can heal a wounded heart
9. God Forgives. Man does not!
10. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these other things shall be added unto you.
