njokiHere’s Njoki Chege’s latest article that caused quite some fracas on social media.

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Weeks ago, Kenyan Twitter was on fire after nude pictures of a certain woman surfaced online. She sent the nude photos to her husband, whom after separating from her, decided to release the pictures to hurt her.

The pictures went viral. The idle feminists in their lice-infested, untidy dreadlocks came out guns blazing with their glowing generalities, throwing around vocabulary like “victim shaming” and “revenge porn”.

Kenyans on Twitter, the illiterate know-it-alls who are experts in everything — from chased down banks to ICC matters — were not left out of the party. For once, the Kenyan twitterati agreed on something. They collectively felt sorry for the woman.

But not me. I don’t feel sorry for her. I think the woman got exactly what she deserved.

I have no mercy for a woman who has her naked pictures out there on the Internet. I do not feel sorry for any woman who willingly poses nude or takes naked pictures of herself and willingly shares them to other parties who later release them for “revenge”.

No self-respecting woman takes nude photos of herself or poses nude for anyone. In any case, those of us with something worth showing off know better than to take nudes. Only those with scary stretch marks and untoned flesh feel the need to advertise.

The moment you took those nude pictures and foolishly showed your face, was the moment you relinquished all your rights to privacy. People take nude photos of themselves all the time. But, it catches up with the few with the dubious distinction of showing their faces.

Nothing is private for as long as it is shared with a second party. It doesn’t matter if you sent them to your husband. If you cannot trust him with your phone’s password, how then do you trust him with your nude photos?

Such women deserve every excruciating minute of the shame and embarrassment they endure. A grown woman, a mother, who includes her face alongside the saggy mounds of flesh she calls a “curvaceous body”, deserves no mercy from anyone. She deserves to be punished for giving the rest of us a bad name.

Such a woman deserves to be named and shamed and be made an example of to the rest; Ili iwe funzo kwake na kwa wengine walio na tabia kama yake (to serve as a lesson to others like her).

And if one of them cannot handle the shame and embarrassment and decides to commit suicide, even better. I am tempted to say that it serves them right. The world is better off less one fool.

If you are senseless enough to send a man your naked pictures, you should have the stomach to endure the shame that comes with having your private parts plastered all over the Internet. There should be no laws to protect such women, what we need is a law to punish them for showing the world their nakedness.

There is no such thing as “revenge porn”. No “victim shaming” here. Victim shaming is a tedious feminist drivel. The only victims here are the people who were subjected to looking at those photos doing their rounds on social media.

Nobody forcefully undressed her and took her pictures kicking and screaming. That woman walked right into this one. Naked, may I add.

We need to recalibrate the brains of these old women who have lost their veneer of sophistication and are tempting our patience by showing us their nakedness.

They think they can compete with the socialites (who have fantastic bodies, by the way) in the name of keeping their “hubbies” happy. What is a 33-year-old mother of several doing naked in front of a mirror with a phone anyway? Aren’t you a little too old for such shenanigans?

I know you wives operate under the maxim that if you don’t send your husband your nudes, other women will. Allow me to educate you. He will still ask other women to send him nudes, whether or not you send him yours.

Painful, but true. Sodom and Gomorrah gets a whole new meaning in your husband’s WhatsApp gallery. Trust me. I would know.

I do not blame a man who vengefully shares naked pictures of such a woman. If you ask me, a 30-something-year-old woman silly enough to send a man her naked pictures — face included — deserves such a man.

If you, as a woman, respect yourself enough not to take nudes and send them, the Lord will bless you with a man sensible enough not to ask for your nudes because he is bright to know that phones get lost, stolen or hacked every time. Can I get an Amen?

So, if you do not wish to be on the receiving end of “revenge porn” the answer is simple. Use your brain, not breasts to think. Do not take naked pictures of yourself. Ever.

Have a great weekend. And please, ladies, cover up. It is a cold world out there…I mean the weather!