liftThe season to be jolly is officially here and you can all feel the excitement in the air, I suppose.

As you indulge in merry making, there are however some things that should not go unmentioned. Like some of the rules you should adhere to if you are offered a lift to or from your rural areas or ‘shagz’, as we like to call it.

Here are the 12 rules to follow while in someone else’s car

1. Keep time

2. Don’t put your arms on the window like a boss

3. If he (the car owner) is traveling with his family, take a back seat. Don’t jostle for the front seat with the wife.

4. Don’t turn yourself into a D.J. if he has tuned to Mayieng/Sulwe/ Chamgei FM don’t switch to classic FM

5. Ask before you roll the window down, A/c etc. It may be faulty

6. If you notice the car owner is traveling with a woman other than wife, don’t start asking him how his family is doing it might be that the car owner told the young lady that he is single (just incase she is available)

7. Avoid stupid questions like “how much does a car like this cost”

8. Don’t turn the car into a pick up so that you go buying charcoal, potatoes, boiled bananas etc along the road. Did you hire the car?

9. Note: not all hitch-hickers journeys end at Ambassadeaur hotel. Accept to alight anywhere in Nairobi

10. Carry appropriate items. Don’t carry chicken, duck, puppy, chang’aa etc lest you leave your clans man car dirty

11. Before you hitch a lift ensure you bathe and don’t eat a cocktail of all manner of food eg a mixed meal of mbuta and matumbo means you will be belching in your clansman car throughout the journey

12. Don’t rear a snake in your pocket (meaning don’t be too stingy or fear digging deep into your pocket) Even if you are broke, you can buy roasted maize for others in the car to enjoy