Ken on 04th Dec

FURTHER TRAFFIC ACT AMMENDMENTS:- 1. Probox overtaking a range rover KSH.500,000 or life imprisonment.  2. If your horn is hooting at a low volume KSH. 100,000.  3. Driving under the influence of alcohol:-  A) tusker – ksh. 10,000 B) pilsner, summit, guinness – ksh.30,000 C) napoleon,kane extra -‘sh.50,000 D) Blue moon -life imprisonment. 3.Carrying...

Ken on 02nd Dec

3 contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the white house, where Barack obama Lives. The 1st from INDIA, the 2nd from CHINA & the 3rd from KENYA.They go with White House official to examine the fence. The INDIAN takes out a tape & did some measuring, works some figures “Well”, he says, “I figure the job will...

Ken on 29th Nov

For many days we’ve been wondering why the Johnny Gill concert recently held in Nairobi was not for every Dick and Harry. Finally, we have the answer, and surprisingly it’s not because of his genre of music, but the alcohol price tag.  Many Kenyans think we have one month to register for the election, which is actually true only if the...

Ken on 29th Nov

Dear Wife,During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often: 54 times the sheets were just cleaned17 times it was too late49 times you were too tired20 times it was too hot15 times you pretended to be sleep22...

Ken on 29th Nov

MATATU STRIKE So apparently Matatus are on strike to make crimeaffordable. Today Kenyans will beforced to use either of the following cars: ToeYota Footsubishi, Shoebaru, Feets, LEGxus, Kneesan, Shoezuki feetara Leg-rover legmborghiny Volkswalking Tourleg Paja erro! walk-swagen heelux ProBoots ishoezu paradishoe (Githurai 45) chevroLEG NB: Na izi...

Ken on 28th Nov

1. If you download anything from the internet and it Fails at 99%  2. If you buy a phone for 20k today and the next day the price drops to 12k 3. You go to the restaurant on your first date, and after eating fish, the bone chocks you! 4. After working for 30 days, you get fired without salary 5. If you take cheat into the exam hall, and cant understand...

Ken on 28th Nov

Outstandng Kamba Celebs Who have made it Internationally: Lucy Ndumbia (Lucky Dube) Mbuvi Mulei (Bob Marley) Sila Kaloki (Sizla Kalonji) Lilian Waeni(Lil Wayne) Malia Kalee (Mariah Carey) Klisi wa Mbooni (Chris Brown)…..hehehe lol…..  *************************************************************** STRICTLY for KIKUYU LADIES only...

Ken on 26th Nov

1.Umoja ni estate,utengano ni setbook. 2.mbio za marathon huishia kwa balcony. 3.cha mlevi huliwa na MUTUTHO. 4.asiyekubali kushindwa,atakuwa….. 5.Ukistaajabu ya musa,hujasikia ya ONYANCHA. 6.mpiga ngumi ukuta ni SONKO. 7.Usipoziba ufa,watu watakuchungulia. 8.mgema akisifiwa mututho huingilia kati. 9.kidole kimoja ni jina ya church ya...

Ken on 25th Nov

Next time you get stuck in jam, do the following to kill time especially if you are in a matatu. 1) Pick your nose and show your neighbor. Then, while giggling very excitedly, tell them “Its the biggest I have caught this week!” 2) Whistle “Mary had a little lamb!”. Repeat twice while dramatizing. 3) Pretend you are about...

Ken on 22nd Nov

It’s Friday once again, that time of the week when we all log into nairobiwire.com to find the best photos of the week, neatly arranged in a single post. If you’re not a football lover however, you’ll probably not enjoy today though… just kidding, there’s something for everyone We start of with our man at Barcelona. A...