Apparently, if you are Kenyan and you really want to ‘eat’ there is an infinite number of ways. Ever since President Uhuru Kenyatta mocked Raila about eating meat during the burial of William Ole Ntimama in 2016, ‘eating’ has become a popular national word.
While addressing Raila directly, Uhuru told the opposition leader to keep off Jubilee affairs and instead put his own house in order.
He told him that they are the government now and are not in a hurry to go home. Uhuru further mocked Raila telling him, “Kumeza mate sio kukula nyama… endeleeni kumeza mate, lakini nyama tutakula,” meaning the opposition will continue salivating while Jubilee eats the meat.
Now, ‘Kukula’ is everywhere and not just on the political scene. On social media, you can ‘eat’ a block, if you’re a cop you can ‘eat’ a bribe.
These are just but a few examples of all the possible ways one can ‘eat’ in this country as revealed by a popular Kenyan on Twitter, @Crazy_Nairobian.
Here’s that Twitter thread.
Hii Kenya ukitaka kukula utakula tu, unafanya kazi unakula mshahara yako, unakataa kufanya kazi unakula kiburi yako, unazeeka unakula pension, unaingia traffic police unakula hongo ?
— Billy™ (@Crazy_Nairobian) February 13, 2018
Unaingia serikali unakula nyama, unabaki opposition unakula kiapo, uko dryspell unageuka vegetarian unakula mama mboga, unalipwa mshahara unakula nyama, unajifanya Shebesh unakula kofi ya Kidero ???
— Billy™ (@Crazy_Nairobian) February 13, 2018
Unachokoza Twitter hunnie unakula block, unaangusha tweet ya uzito unakula retweets, unachokoza msee wa mjengo unakula tofali ya uso, uko na sura mbaya na hauna pesa unakula dryspell ?
— Billy™ (@Crazy_Nairobian) February 13, 2018
Unajifanya Slay Queen na standards za upuzi unakula menopause, unanunua samosa ya nyama Nakuru unakula pussy ???
— Billy™ (@Crazy_Nairobian) February 13, 2018
Uko campo una gamble unakula school fees, unaishi Nyeri unakunywa chang’aa unatupa mbao sehemu nyeti inakula kisu, wee ni youth Kenya hauna kazi unakula vako, unakaribisha mgeni sato kumbe ni jehova witness unakula neno
— Billy™ (@Crazy_Nairobian) February 13, 2018
Unapika uji kumbe hauna sukari so unaongeza unga unakula ugali, unachokoza Miguna Miguna twitter unakula career ending tackle ???
— Billy™ (@Crazy_Nairobian) February 13, 2018
Unapelekwa valentines unanunuliwa maua na chocolates alafu usiku ni wewe wanakula ☺, unaingia modeling agency badala ya kulipwa unakula exposure, uko ushago unaanika nguo nje ukirudi unapata ng’ombe imekula ???
— Billy™ (@Crazy_Nairobian) February 13, 2018
Unajifanya woke na hauna sura unakula banter, unajifanya gun man Kayole unakula pamba ??
— Billy™ (@Crazy_Nairobian) February 13, 2018
Unakuwa Githeriman unakula endorsement, unakuwa Matiang’i unakula madem wa choir, unakuwa Chinese unakula umbwa, unakuwa saloonist wa Ann Waiguru unakula pesa za NYS, unakuwa DK unakula Kwenye Beat ???
— Billy™ (@Crazy_Nairobian) February 13, 2018
Una demonstrate unakula teargas, unafungua kanisa unakula sadaka, unaenda ushago kristmas unakula hadi fare ????
— Billy™ (@Crazy_Nairobian) February 13, 2018
Hauna valentines date unakula kwa macho, hauna mtu wa kukupikia unakula kwa kibanda, hauna kazi ya kufanya unakula lazy ?
— Billy™ (@Crazy_Nairobian) February 14, 2018
