footballRenown pencil artist Collins Okello has written a heartfelt confession of what he has to deal with as one of the few people who do not enjoy English football, or football for that matter.

On a post on Facebook, Collins writes that even women who previously disliked the sport have now come to embrace it and have become its biggest fans.

I’m sure there are many others in his shoes, and my advice to you.. It’s not too late to start loving it.

Here’s his ‘confession’

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Its so embarrassing that in today’s world everybody loves football except me. Even women who initially had beef with it. Almost all the time when am with friends, discussions must always just switch to football, then am left nodding my head in agreement to things i have absolutely no idea about, and burning my facial muscles by issuing fake smiles to “jana mulifanywa”, “nyi mnacheza na sisi tutawatwanga mbaya”, “hatucheki this season”, “player wenu cheap tunanunua”, “nani ameshinda nanii kwa kudribble”, ooh windows transfer this, ooh foolish manager that.

And these pikipiki guys who always want to have a conversation with the customer-who said everybody is a football fan? Someone has a helmet on, the wind is working against communication because the motorbike is enroute at full speed and someone chooses to still bombard you with topics you are alien to, without enquiring if you have the slightest awareness of it lol: jana arsenali walichapwaaaa?! Lakini ule nanii anakuwanga fala sana, badala ya kupatia nanii ball anapatia ule mjinga mwingine. Am left ejecting fake laughs, smiles, nods and embarrassing concocted spectation because i dont want to appear rude.

Am like “hata yule goal keeper wa Man U sijui mbona anapenda kushika ball akianguka chini kama gunia, fala sana nkt, next season tunamuuza kwa windows transfer.” Lol. And today nobody is remaining in the house, the husband leaves to go watch arsenal with the boys, and the wife leaves to go watch chelsea with the girls.

One day i was in a group of male friends who digressed from productive topics to football. I was starting to feel uncomfortable because the pain of faking a smile is worse than labour pains. Then God looked down at me and a lady joined us, i was relieved that finally the topic would change.

Ole wangu! The lady was like “Mike nilikuambiaje jana, si nilikushow chelsea ni wabayaaaa???!” She even worsened the chances of dropping the football topic because she was nyanya yao in football quarters! Am sad that am the only one who has not yet found anything interesting with men chasing and fighting over a ball so as to put it in a net. When everybody else is either talking about arsenal, man U or chelsea, am talking about tissue ya hanaan. I think i need to see a doctor.

Like today every status update is “mark, sijui mike dean!!” huyu mike ama mark dean, ni dean of students wa college gani??

Jaduong’