Kenyan Man
On phone;
Gal: Mambo swits?
Boy: Poa sana hun,,, Uko wapi?
Gal: Niko 2 hapa hom niki watch moviez,,,,,
Boy: Hata mi nko kejani 2 nimeboeka yangu yote,,,, Si naeza kam huko 2rilax pamoja??
Gal: Brilliant idea! By the way beib ukikam unikujie na yoghut packet moja na ka black forest cake,,,,
Boy: Khai! Yoghut na hii baridi yote??
Aki my dear staki ukue mgonjwa,,,,
Gal: Sawa basi kam na keki pekee,,,,
Boy: Uuuuiii,,,, Hun nlikukataza kukula hizi vitu za sukari mob,,,, Meno zako zita spoil,,,,
Gal: Gosh! Sasa utakam na nini??,,,,
Basi pitia kwa Baba Kim ununue maini nusu then ukam nayo tupike,,,,,
Boy: What??? Swity hukuona news juzi??? Hizi nyama za skuizi haziaminiki! ,,,, Unaeza dhani ni nyama poa kumbe unakula tumbili,,,,
Gal: Nkt! Basi nikujie na mahindi chemsha ya ten bob!
Boy: Woow! That’s my beiby ,,,, Nakam
nayo sahizi!
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Nigerian Man
Gal: Babe why don’t you come over and I’ll make you dinner. On your way here could you pass by the grocers and pick up some chicken?
Boy: Abomination! A gal like you shouldn’t be dirtying herself up in the kitchen. Why don’t I pick you up at 7 for dinner?
Gal: That’s so sweet of you. I had a long, exhausting day at work and really appreciate the gesture. 6:57 pm..door bell..ding dong.. Gal: *squeals* hi babe, so nice to see you. You smell great! What’s that cologne you have on?
Boy: Just something I picked up at Macy’s..
Gal: come on in… *Naija guy unleashes a fresh bouquet of red roses that he was holding behind his back.
Are those for me?
Boy: They’re for my beautiful princess. Look at you. I love your hairstyle, it suits you well. It must have dented your your wallet at the salon. Here is Kshs 20,000.
Gal: aaaah, you know I can’t take it.
Boy: what now? Ok, here is 50,000. Is that better?
Gal: aaaahhh, okey thanks! You didn’t have to…Would u like something to drink?
Boy: No wahala, I already made reservations so let’s be on our way..
Gal: Really?? Aww…you are too much. Where are we going? Naija guy: It’s a surprise, I’m sure you’ll love it! Naija guy and gal exit the apartment and head to Hotel Sankara.)
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