Liquor manufacturers have accepted the Government’s suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell Happened to your bra and panties.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering When you are not.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a Retard.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers Are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are Tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are Laughing WITH you.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye reel Gode.